SandyU’s Neighborhood

Today, my feathers are ruffled and I feel a bit on edge because the same old topic, my old ghosts, continue to wrack me. Making psychological, sociologically and religious shifts in life's paradigm does not come without uprooting the foundation entirely. My mental house creeks. There was rot and mold that had to be ousted. There were roots which had entwined the pipes of this organism and I hacked them away. I speak in metaphor because I spelling things out hurts my mouth, then later, the people who've always known me. But, inveriably, I'll write more and more till it trickles out of me. I've written this a million times, and erased it, clicked delete. So, I say this the best way I can. Now it has been years since I've moved away from a conservative and religiously closed-off life and I continue to find areas of detritus I have to shake loose. I've seen too much and done too much to know, we aren't evil. We're not born bad. We all make our choices. There is no one who has the one simple truth. There are billions and billions of years to have added up to this moment right now, and it can't be summed up with a glib sermon or the pointed finger of a white man who has only known his comfortable, christian bed, the one he was born in. Having heard from pentacostal and baptist pulpits a religion of isolationism and racism (yes, racism), the one that sends entire countries and cultures to a elected and prescribed hell, I reel inside. It's a shame it wasn't sooner that I saw reality. It's hard to see past one's own ethnocentrism. It is the same ethnocentrism within a self-serving system which reduces homosexuals to comic book characters or shapes them into monsters; I can not and will not sit in another conversation and say nothing when I hear such atrocious sentiments. I can not be divided into two camps of thinking. I must say what is right and stand up honestly for what I know is real. We are all equal in the eyes of God. All. Equal. There are billions of people whose hearts beat and blood flows just like my own. There are women round our world holding their own babies in their arms, feeling the love I feel and aching for it never to end. These people are not doomed to any hell, any more than I am. There are problems which pious prayers will never answer... but love will. The eyes of my heart were jaded once. Now I see, always so imperfectly, but I see how the language of love is the substance which is GOD.  Any more than that, I can't say for certain. I've stopped claiming that I know the one truth. I'm human like you.

I've heard people call themselves recovering fundies... and I've thought about that a lot. But, you know me and how much I hate labels. Still, I do feel often that I am recovering from something. Today my brain hurts a little. And it should.

Those of you who are old enough might remember Jefferson Airplane, the psychedelic rock band that was so influential and popular in the 60s. I still remember "Don't You Want Somebody to Love" and "White Rabbit" (feed your head!).

The lead guitarist for that group was a fellow by the name of Jorma Kaukonen. He seemed an odd match for a hard rock band, since his roots were in the blues and in traditional acoustic folk music. After the band broke up, Jorma drifted for a while and eventually returned to those roots with an absolutely gorgeous recording that he made in the 1970s: He did some Rev. Gary Davis spirituals on the guitar and also came up with a few songs of his own.

My absolute favorite song of his goes by the name of Genesis, and has to do with love and reconciliation. According to the liner notes, he had an affair of some time and his wife found out. They eventually worked it out and this song came out of it. For me, this is one of those "driveway" songs: that is, you hear it as you pull into your driveway and stay in the car until the song ends. The lyrics are just as beautiful as the song. I'll post them below the audio:

If you like this song, I'd recommend investing the CD. There's some nice stuff on there. Not everything's as good as Genesis, but it alone is worth the purchase price of this album.

Genesis, by Jorma Kaukonen:

Time has come for us to pause

And think of living as it was

Into the future we must cross, must cross

I'd like to go with you

And I'd like to go with you

You say I'm harder than a wall

A marble shaft about to fall

I love you dearer than them all, them all

So let me stay with you

So let me stay with you

And as we walked into the day

Skies of blue had turned to grey

I might have not been clear to say, to say

I never looked away

I never looked away

And though I'm feeling you inside

My life is rolling with the tide

I'd like to see it be an open ride

Along with you

Going along with you

The time we borrowed from ourselves

Can't stay within a vaulted well

And living turns into a lender's will

So let me come with you

And let me come with you

And when we came out into view

And there I found myself with you

When breathing felt like something new, new

Along with you

Going along with you

What do you do when you get a crush on someone?
Submitted by Desi.

Keep it to myself and enjoy it until it passes.

What are your top five break-up songs?
Submitted by gt.

It's a long weekend here in Canada, and I took this afternoon off to add to it.  I'm catching the train to Belleville later this afternoon t go and join my friends D & R at their cottage for the long weekend.  Real downtime!

This is the view from their back deck, where I sit and watch bunnies and birdies and chipmunks and rest my urban eyes on refreshing fractal images instead of rectilinear ones for a few days.

It may look grayer and damper than this, since it's not predicted to be a sunny weekend, but it's still time away, with D feeding me fine stuff (she's chef-trained) and both of them thinking I'm a great guest because I don't expect them to entertain me. 

Speaking of decks, my kid sister provided me with these at the Mother's Day get-together.

Yes, the next seven books in the seafaring Aubrey/Maturin series, of which I've already plowed through one and a half since Sunday. I'm tempted to do nothing but bring several and do nothing but read all weekend, but I'm also mindful of the great expanse of writing time the cottage offers, so I'll be working on the new novel, too.  And rewarding myself with virtual turns upon the quarterdeck with Jack and Stephen. 

We have all the conveniences up there except internet, so I won't see you peeps on Vox till sometime Monday.  Take care!

1. Beer protects from heart attacks
2. Sinks the stroke risk
3. Good for the Blood pressure
4. Can prevent diabetes
5. Helps you to remember
6. Makes your bones more stabil
7. You may live longer

My brain is quiet today, so I don't really have much to post about.  Instead, I thought I'd snag Val's meme for today and play along.  (Although some of her answers were good enough, I don't think I can top them.)

What is a physical feature you admire in both men and women, that you find yourself noticing or comparing when out and about?

Hands.  I love people's hands.  Consider that for the most part, I don't like to be touched.  I don't like to shake hands, but I love to look at them.  When evaluating whether someone's attractive I almost always start with the hands, and I have on several occasions turned down dates with guys who didn't have good hands.  Spatula Finger Guy: no offense.  You were really nice and you were cute, but the thought of you ever touching me with your freaky spatula fingers was creepifying.  Same for you, girl with the impossibly short end joint on your thumbs.

Who is someone we've heard of who possesses this admirable feature?

Hubbicula and Spucko both have lovely hands.  Guitar players.

 

If you could "safely" explore an addictive or otherwise unhealthful or unsafe vice, which one would you choose and why?

Well, I've pretty much already covered this territory, as I think I've tried every drug except Ecstasy and it doesn't really attract me.  So I'm gonna have to think outside the box.  Let's go with sex.  I'd join a swinger's club or something.  (In Tampa we conveniently lived just across the alley from one, but we never checked it out.)  Or maybe I'd just start speeding a lot, since I never do that.  Be one of those people who drive 100 mph on the highway.

In which TV show currently airing would you like to be a regular character? Describe the character a bit.

Since Lost is the only show I watch, I suppose I'd have to be a regular character on Lost.  Knowing my luck I'd just be a red shirt, get blown up or buried alive or something.  The best I could hope for is that I'd be a hot enough chick to get killed.  Probably my Lost boyfriend would kill me.  Well, that sounds a lot weirder than I expected.

If you could be a member of the opposite sex for a day, what you would try out?

Val pretty much covered this one: I'd spend a lot of the day just enjoying peeing while standing up.  (Although I like the idea of getting a raise for a day.)  Of course, I once had a dream in which I was Hubbicula and I think it reveals a lot about how I see men.  Or at least how I see Hubbicula.  In my dream, the first thing I did was shave off my facial hair.  Then I put on one of Hubbicula's many fabulous tailored three-piece suits.  Then I went out to a bar and started hitting on lesbians.  Yup, that sounds like a good day.

................and lunch, and supper, and snack.  What?  I don't want it to go to waste!